My name is Chris Jaramillo. I am an attorney, film critic, lover, fighter, gentleman, and bastard. Welcome to The After Lobby, my website for movie reviews, thoughts on the arts, and musings on the film industry in general.
The review system is based off the work of Korey Coleman and his film reviews found on Double Toasted, a great cinema critique community with daily podcasts and a plethora of movie reviews. Below are the rankings that I use for each film as well as a brief explanation as to what they mean to me.
Better Than Sex!!
Sometimes a film just pleases you in every single way. These are the films that are perfect or damn well close to perfection and turn out to be the best of the best films each year.
A highly recommended film you should actually pony up the cash to check out in theaters and brave the elements for. Some movies get this rating, but it’s reserved for those that truly deserve it.
Sometimes a film has problems to it, but is still no less interesting that you should still see the movie in theaters. Though with this rating, you would be better off checking these out at a cheaper price.
Rentals are pretty weak films; as the rating suggests, you really should wait for them on Netflix or Redbox when they show up on rotation. Though you might actually get a better experience watching them at home.
Some Ol’ Bullshit
These are the films that are just plain bad. These films truly suck and have zero or close to zero worth at all. Just skip over these completely.
FUCK THIS MOVIE
The lowest circle of hell. These films aren’t just bad, they’re insultingly bad. Many recipients of this rating offend me for one reason or another, but mainly because they insult my taste and intelligence to such a degree that I simply cannot hold back the rage. Avoid these films at all costs.